HAS IT REALLY BEEN A YEAR???

TOP TEN THINGS I'VE LEARNED IN THE LAST YEAR OF MARRIAGE...

(With a few interspersed pictures for your entertainment.)

(1) Laundry does not get done by little gnomes like I thought it did. And sometimes, husbands do not tell wives when they don't have any more socks that were supposed to be washed by the little gnomes, and thus the husbands end up having to wear their socks multiple times until it is time for the gnomes to wash the wives' clothes, and at which time, the wives get angry with the husbands for not letting them know, and an argument ensues. Darn those little gnomes for starting arguments.

(New Year's Eve, 2003)

(2) Husbands fart. And it's gross. And then wives get angry with husbands for not excusing themselves and for it being gross. And then they move on.

(3) A recent lesson I've learned: it's awful to have a period right before your anniversary. That's all I'm going to say about that.

(Preference, December 2003)

(4) In no case, under any circumstance whatsoever, do husbands and wives EVER get fat after getting married. We look as *perfect* as the day we met in high school, and wives are always as beautiful as they were on their wedding day. In fact, to prove this point, I am wearing my jeans from high school today and they are in no way cutting off circulation to my thighs and my butt always looks absolutely fantastic. Always.

(5) You don't have to spend every. single. moment. together. In fact, I wouldn't even recommend it. It's not that I don't love my husband, it's that I can't handle his geekiness for more than oh, 10 hours a day, and he can't handle me be anal-retentive about everything. It's okay to step away and be alone. I love you, honey!

(6) I finally have more freakin' room in my freezer now that that stupid cake is out of it.

(Engagement pictures...The caption here is: "Red, I can't sit like this anymore...I just don't bend that way. Can we be done now?")

(7) You really don't have to fight naked like everybody told us to when we got married. (Yes, it's more fun...) In fact, you don't really have to fight at all. Honestly, there aren't many things in life that need to be fought over, so just apologize and move on. For example, there are going to be financial woes...but you love each other, and so you'll make it work.

(8) Birth control is a necessity. Add it to the expenses list. For those of you secretly wishing that we'll have an "oops" baby (...ahem...Erin...), it's just not going to happen yet. You'll just have to wait for baby Red a bit longer.

(Messing around during engagement pictures.)

(9) It is perfectly okay to take charity from the friends and family around you. Take the couches. And the bed. And the table. And the washer and dryer. TAKE IT ALL! (You'll need it...) (And thanks Mom & Dad, and Ruthann)

(10) And most of all, cry. It gets you what you want.

Lastly, here is my ode to T, in celebration of this glorious day that we both spent at work. Joy.

Love you, sweetie!