I. am. VICTORIOUS.

I have mounted the gleaming white steed and rode toward the shining castle gates to save the beautiful princess.

When I hit the gates, I battled many many demons, monsters and fiends. It was treacherous, but I pushed through their defenses.

Only then did I discover the dreadful crimson dragon who was keeping my beautiful princess imprisoned.

Whilst he sprayed his fire and smoke in my eyes and flung boulders at my steed, I remained steady.

At the perfect moment when the world was still and right, I thrust my bejeweled sword into the heart of the beast and he fell before me, dead and reeking.

I rode my loyal steed up the shining marble staircase into a sunset of orange and red, and into the chamber of the imprisoned princess.

I killed the monster. Slayed the dragon. Saved the princess.

....

In other words, I cleaned the bathroom sink.

(Everybody's got to have a New Year's Resolution right?)